Made for another world

Nothing motivates me more than a good goal. It has always been that way, and probably always will. The problem is, when you reach the goal, it doesn't always satisfy you like you thought it would. 

The goals I make are like dessert: pretty, delicious, but only momentarily satisfying. Empty calories. And you feel just as empty after dessert as you did before.

Freshman year at Mizzou, I knew just what I wanted to do. Having reached that goal, I still feel exactly the same. We make these empty goals, we accomplish these empty goals, and we're just as hollow at the end. We're chocolate bunnies -- rich and foil-covered on the outside, full of nothing on the inside.

We think we have it figured out. Jesus, if only ___ will happen, then I'll be happy. 

If only I get this job or get this promotion or make this friend or build this relationship or buy this car or get this gift or get the approval of him or her or them or everything . . . 

Then we get it. We get that "if only" thing, and we're still just as broken. We're empty. If you try to inject chocolate into the center of the hollow bunny, you'll crack the shell. Still empty. 

Tomorrow, I'm getting an "if only" that I've held onto for two years. This "if only" is an honor and I'm grateful. But at the end of the day, it is just an "if only," and those don't fill you up. Still empty.

"If I find in myself a desire that no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." -C.S. Lewis