when it rains, it pours . . .

. . and I should have brought an umbrella.

Life just keeps getting messier and messier. But isn't that the story for all of us? Our common denominator is that everyone has something. Everyone's heart has something on it. The magnitude or the significance of whatever's on our hearts isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the common human experience of a whole lotta crap.

Six

Today is my half birthday. 21 in six what-I'm-sure-will-be-short months. I can't wait; I honestly can't wait. 

Being a person

I think the business of being a community journalist is the business of being a person.

I'm on my seventh Monday working at the newspaper and every day I learn something new. Sometimes it's about journalism, but most of the time, it's about humanity, who we are and how we all want so badly to matter.

Today I interviewed a woman who creates jewelry. Not so simple. Her brother died less than two months ago at age 23 from Ewing's Sarcoma, a rare form of cancer. She hopes to donate a portion of her jewelry proceeds and have a benefit for Ewing's Sarcoma research.

If I hadn't asked her about her family, she never would have told me that.

There's the mom whose son is a Marine in the Middle East; she doesn't know exactly where, and she won't for a few more months. I didn't need to imagine how devastating that must be, because she told me. She cried several times in the interview. She's so strong.

Every week, we write something called In Memory, an extended version of the short obits we run for everyone. I call the family, and they tell me their favorite memories, about the person's nature, etc. I wonder how I would even pick up the phone if a reporter called me days after someone I love died.

The owner of a local restaurant took what used to be an empty building and made it into what's now being called a Westmont landmark. It's delicious food, but it tastes better knowing how much sweat and tears went into it. He goes all over the country with his barbecue to win national awards. Sometimes we run a story about the restaurant, sometimes eight inches and sometimes less.

I wrote a story about a movie filmed in town, and there was a sidebar listing films made in Westmont in years past. A few days later, I got a glowing e-maill from an indie filmmaker telling me how much he and his mom appreciated seeing his movie printed in the paper. It was one line, but it made this man happy and his mom proud. I wished I could have done more for him.

When I was in kindergarten, my picture was in the newspaper when my kindergarten class had Hundreds Day. My mom bought a dozen copies. It mattered.

We all want to be noticed. We all want to matter. And that's what journalism is: the business of showing people how much they matter.

I love this shit.

things i've learned

This has been the hardest summer of my life. But God has this crazy way of taking the hardest times and growing us through them . . .



I love two jobs; I love 55-and-60 hour weeks.

When I started working at Ann Taylor, I got a dozen extra moms. My co-workers teach me something new every day.

My dad is falling apart. So is our relationship. I'm trying to stop that from happening, but maybe I'm not trying hard enough.

The more I help my friends, the more I learn about myself.

The less rest I get, the more I realize how important it is. Next semester will be better, because I'm going to rest more.

I love writing letters, and I should write more of them.

Journalism really is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm doing it now without getting paid, and I'm pretty sure I'll only love it more when they give me money to do it. I love it.

The more I worry about the future, the less I live today. I'm trying to stop that -- the worrying, not the living.
I'm a country music fan.

I miss my Bible study girls, and I can't wait to see them again.

I miss my sisters and I can't wait to share a house with them again.

Being a Pi Chi makes me really excited and I pray that God gives me the leadership skills I'll need for this August.

I'm starting to learn about sports. Someday I'll understand them, and I hope that someday is sooner than later.

I want my wedding theme to be black and white with red accents, and I want a polka dot wedding cake. I know some of my bridesmaids. I want a big wedding. That is all I know, and I'm glad I have years and years to figure out the rest.

God has been so good to me.

I'm worried about my sister and mom. I need to love both of them like Jesus calls us to love.

Driving isn't so hard. I just needed some confidence. Next on the to-do list? Directions.

I need to take more pictures. First, I need to have days worthy of taking pictures. I can't wait to have those. I need a new camera.

I really, really value my cell phone. I also really, really value AIM. Both are lifelines, total lifelines.

The only things that can really make you happy in life are Jesus and the relationships He gives us. That's it. That's really it.